Does anyone know of a way to choose what order the programs load in the ram? I would like my antivirus to run before my internet, and have had a look around msconfig but cant find a way to do it.

Thanks for any help

Not really.
In your registry there are several lists of programs (services, HKLM/Run, HKCU/Run, and the your starup folder in your start menu) that are read top to bottom, but it does not wait for the first one to finish before it goes onto the next, so essentially at startup there is a big scrap in your PC as 20+ programs, services and all the rest try to start at the same time.
Anti virus engines are usually one of the first (they are seen as services), but the front end bit then we see is another program and must fight it out with the rest of them.
Programs such as TweakXP and Startup Control Panel can help to prune what starts automatically, but thats about as much controll we have I'm afraid.

I think the easiest solution is to remove whatever it is that causes your internet to start when you boot your PC. Then, when you boot your PC and when your anti-virus is ready...you can double click on IE or FireFox or whatever to get to the internet.

ah ok... it doesnt matter too much, im might just disable my internet until i tell it to connect