Mega Snake (2007), US, Made for TV (Sci-Fi)

Possibly the only 'draw' for this movie might be Michael Shanks (former Dr. Jackson on Stargate SG-1). Other than that, the plot is very simple, to the point of being childish: an extremely dangerous snake is stolen from a Native American store, by a foolish snake-handler. He drops the jar at home, then that's when both the snake and movie get 'out of proportion' to reality. Shanks nor his TV girlfriend really act, and the Native American snake handler doesn't prove much of a warrior nor much of a Native American for that matter. It gets to the point the movie quickly bores viewers, since it's obvious the snake is going to pretty much do what it wants, eat whatever and whomever it wants, and really the only thing left to wonder if how long the movie will go on providing totally clueless people that don't pay attention to their surroundings--until of course it's too late. About the only suspense remaining is how high the body count will go and how big the snake might get. Due to the fact some horror films either succeed in being scary, being partly comedic (about who gets their comeuppance) or both, this one succeeds in neither aspect; it even fails in showing the process by which Shanks is supposed to overcome his fear of snakes (part of the plot).

In the end, Mega Snake is not only Mega Boring but Mega Bad in acting, plot development, and possibly many other ways viewers could name. Unless someone is completely bored with nothing better to do, best to avoid this one at all costs.

(1/2 star--and that's pushing it!)